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1. |
Princess Carolyn
02:04
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flowers perched on the staircase
down
inside the manor one lone fly
multiplied by fears and doubts
just shy of screaming
infest just shy of leaving
flesh forever stinging
shivering, slithering
from the feeling of
their wings shattering on you
thousands of tiny legs
build a monstrosity
it eats you alive
it eats you alive
thousands of tiny legs
build a monstrosity
it eats you alive
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2. |
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i've been raised to believe
that all creatures deceive
how have i gone this long
grab me by the throat
throw me to the floor
i will never
see the days again
i will never
be the same again
the gift of guilted reprieve
the lack of a sense of relief
how have i gone this long
voided and alone
inside the walls i roam
staying put for days
among the fog and haze
his speech is just the same
taking pride in numbered days
all these broken pieces that have
longed to dissipate
(inside a room the tiles spin the
bed is eaten by the basement)
all these broken pieces that have
longed to dissipate
(and the pipes fall to the ground
and i am alone)
dissipate
inside a room the tiles spin
staying put for days
i will never
be the same again
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3. |
c.c.c.r.e.m.i.x.
04:11
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i am just
a black hole
sucking up all the stars
in the sky
i will stay here against
my will and yours
weak lungs and racing hearts
can only drown
and what may lie at the bottom of
the sea
shall be my salvation
lungs
filled with doubts and distress
have frozen solid with fear
presence of a ghost, voice of a
mute i'd rather be left to
rest
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4. |
Punishment Light
05:46
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if i knew
avoidance, reluctance, amongst
other things
subtlety, hidden means, a
malicious smile
avoidance, reluctance, amongst
other things
the perception of dialogue
the stifling of idealization
in my eyes, i have found
a higher sense of self
what is the mind without these--
pathetic inventions?
a perception of dialogue
the subtlety of idolization
if i knew
ridicule
if i knew
ridicule
how abused
avoidance, reluctance, amongst
other things
subtlety, hidden means, a
malicious smile
the perception of dialogue
a stifling of idealization
the means to recollect
the memories time distorts
the memories time distorts--
have locked themselves in my
bedroom
a perception of dialogue
the subtlety of idolization
pretentious, in essence
no means of apprehension
pretentious, in essence
no such thing as ascension
a senseless resentment
no sense of reprehension
such demonic structure
reminds me of my father
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5. |
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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y and z now i know my abc's next time won't u sing with me!
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6. |
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in catharsis, i am
outspoken, lively, purpose-driven
overstating, with lack
of gesturing, inconceivable,
irretrievable
a resonant lie
volatile eyes
convoluted and shy
created to sympathize
the pressure to exist is
asphyxiating
compelling
illuminating
i am restraining
humanity
how it loves to see me
preconceive as each word
escapes a trifling throat
now dark eyes
i will find
the ties to myself and i
now will you know
when the time comes?
now will you learn
to lie when it's right?
dark eyes, will you know
to lie
when
it's right?
in retrospection
a need for dissection
altruistic pest, relentless mess
growing jaded with confession
defensive
defenseless
defensive
defenseless
defensive
defenseless
you fucking hypocrite
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7. |
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running
away from the self
running--
in these shorted lights
the equity blinds
to have dignity;
to have to remind;
myself every
fucking time
my body caves in
that it was pathetic to think
it could ever stand a chance
in the first place
now when i
fall through
i'll think
of you
and how you've convinced me
that
these weak strings could ever
keep me here
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8. |
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now the wind can tear me
to shreds
and my bones turn to dust
why should i keep standing
if i don't even have a spine?
and my bones turn to--
well i suppose that this is how it
goes
honey you should know that i
don't let these things go
and to keep me here is to kill off
your air
and your lungs will be mine as
our tracheae entwine
thought you knew sometime ago
that this never was a joke
i tend to lack vision even amongst
the stars
why can't someone look in my
eyes
without tearing them apart?
slow regressions from now to
then
slow progressions from if to when
i am both terrified of everything i
am and everything i will never be
i'll stay up til sunlight screams for
me to go to fucking sleep
i guess you suit me well, you suit
me well, you suit me well
my condolences for never
forgetting your name
it's stitched in my brain so that i'll
always feel the pain
cascades of puke and blood
fell down the drain
wax and wane, wax and wane
along with past daydreams
of the sun's embrace wax and wane, wax and--
found naive to a certain extent
and i will never know why
i'm sick of clean skin and painless
touches
why can't i just get what i deserve
and to keep me here is to kill off
your air
and your lungs will be mine
as our tracheae entwine
i'd slit my throat with a smile on
my face if it
meant i could ever get out
(and to feel them in my flesh was
a cutting awareness i wish i never
had learned)
at 2 am i woke up
drenched in sweat
to feel the moths taking up the air
(if only i could breathe here, if
only i could leave here)
it must be nice
not to know
exactly
how it
feels
to
get
raped
from
the inside
out
and i might as well just cry
and i cried
on your chest
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foxtails Connecticut
genre alchemy for queer outcasts
instagram: @foxtailsct
inquiries: fffoxtails@gmail.com
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